Size Inflation

Every pair of jeans that I own has holes in the knees. Literally every pair. Except that one pair that's splattered with green paint from the time that I helped a friend paint her nursery, which I sincerely regret doing in that particular pair of pants because they're the only ones I have from the era before stretch denim took over the universe. Remember when you could buy jeans that were more-or-less the same size after you wore them as before? Sigh...

In any case, if Hugh's mom had seen my jean collection, she would have thrown every pair away... and then subsequently found me three new pairs of high-quality designer jeans for four dollars apiece at one of her favorite stores. But, since she wasn't around, I decided it was time to rectify the situation on my own.

The other night, after Asher went to bed, I headed off to the mall. I went straight to American Eagle, my preferred jean provider, only to discover that every pair of jeans that didn't cost fifty dollars was already full of holes. I already owned several pairs of holey jeans--that was why I was at the mall--so I moved on. After going to a few other places, I was starting to feel rather dismayed. In desperation, I walked into the Gap, knowing full well that I would never pay what jeans there cost for blue cotton twill, regardless of the name on the tag.

As I entered the store, I noticed a large pile of jeans marked "clearance." That being one of my favorite words, I headed over. The only problem with clearance racks is that they are always full of the stuff that most other people didn't want to buy. This means that if there is something really cute there, it is probably either something that would only fit my thirteen-year-old sister, or something that you could fit two of my thirteen-year-old sister into. (Incidentally, have you ever noticed that every adorable clearance shoe in existence is a size six? I don't know who has size six feet, but I sincerely envy their shoe collection.) I happen to wear a fairly common jean size, so of course, there were no pants on the shelf in my size. In my riflings, however, I happened to unfold a pair of jeans in the size down from mine and notice that they didn't look very small. I stole off to the dressing room with them, and it turned out that they fit perfectly. So I bought two pairs. Because what's better than cute, cheap jeans, if not cute, cheap jeans that tell you you're skinnier than you actually are?

So, if you're in need of some pleasantly dishonest denim, head to the Gap. They believe in size inflation over there. Check the clearance rack.